Is it possible that i'm a naturalistic romantic?

i mean the whole Romanticism movements springing up after rationalism and how they're polar opposites is just subjecting the terms and individual. why cant we be everything and anything at anytime. why are we so construed to live a life of construction. i feel im extremely capable of handling everything in a calm, open view and being logical on all fronts but then at the same time feel isolated, gifted, imaginative, emotional. i'm logical but poses the ability to be a romantic at the same time. i'd rather be rational but still indulge in arts and love and feelings but just in a healthy format. why let love completely suffocate your natural ability to enjoy life. it wouldn't be love then. why would love be defined as something that hurts you? love is felt or expressed in numerous fashions but true love with oneself should never come into question during a relationship, not working out? i need to read kant. i feel like my brain is constantly surging wanting any information and creating new information. does the ability of understanding our awareness of existence carry that much clout in life? i also feel like a pacifist periodically throughout my life but mainly want to expand, explore, love. or can you be a pacifist and still experience self-worth. does that have any connections with bipolar disorders? having such sporadic emotions due to the situation, environment, complexity of confusion in future endeavors. or is that just a time period in which we go through as we grow up and do realize consciousness and the ability to adapt and evolve.